Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Take My Husband, PLEASE!

[Please note: this post was written with both the approval and encouragement of my husband.]

Westbankpapa has unfortunately been laid off from his hi-tech job, and although he has had a good interview or two he is still signing up at the unemployment office, and spending a lot of time at home. (Readers who want details and have possible leads can email me). Since I work part-time from home our togetherness quotient has risen dramatically.

This state of affairs has its advantages - he has a lot of quality time with the kids, for example. But it also has its inevitable disadvantages. In our case it causes quite a lot of stress in one particular room of the house.

I am talking of course, about the kitchen.

You see, if men are from Mars and women are from Venus when it comes to communication, then there must be two different planets for those of us in the human race who are "foodies" and those who are not.

I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, I like eating (especially chocolate). But I am rather simple in my tastes and in my cooking skills (see previous post). Just to give you an example, my idea of a hi-tech kitchen gadget is a wooden spoon.

When I read a cookbook and find a recipe where it takes eight different steps just to preheat the oven, I turn the page. Westbankpapa views this kind of recipe as a personal challenge made by the author and he responds by picking up the gauntlet (or oven mitt, in this case).

What this means is that for a good portion of my day, every flat surface in my kitchen is completely covered with...stuff. I never knew there were so many different ways to cut up food or measure it. I never knew that the precise temperature could be measured with so many different gadgets. I never knew what an imposition it is just to make a cup of coffee (no, don't touch that....)

The resulting food is usually delicious, of course, although a bit on the gourmet side. The kids sometimes look at me with longing and ask, politely mind you, "Ima, you're going to make the spaghetti sauce next time, right?" when they find something in it that defies their imagination.

But this is just the beginning. The resulting questions that emerge after each cooking session ("honey, don't you think that the plates could be stored here in this cupboard", or "darling, I've thought of a better way to arrange the spices") have gotten on my nerves to the point where I have to clench my teeth just to respond civilly.

The scary part comes when I start imagining what will happen when he retires....

My prayers for parnassa have taken on a keener edge lately, and I sincerely wish him a hearty "b'hatzlacha" ("good luck") when he goes out the door to another interview!

But I'm hanging on the edge here folks... judging from the sounds he's now rearranging the medicine cabinet....

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel bad for you, but I feel even worse for him. He is doign this because he is looking for ways to keep busy wile he goes absolutely out of his mind from boredom and anxiety...

10:56 AM, November 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hee, hee... westbankpapa is so like my husband. I dread it when he comes anywhere near my kitchen or my laundry room for that matter. As we both are self-employed we tend to spend a lot of time with each other, and he usually can always find a "better" way to do things... thank you, dear, now get out.
Oh, and BTW- happy birthday to your dad!!! That is so cool that he and my dad were born on the same day!

5:38 PM, November 29, 2006  
Blogger bec said...

wbmama,
in our house, i love when my husband cooks certain things (steaks, hot chocolate, scrambled eggs....) but in all honesty, i think that he is just as happy as i am that he doesn't do any mega-cooking. but he does do a great job changing lightbulbs.
hang in there and good luck to westbankpapa on his job search. he can always go out for a position as a personal chef.... :D

12:48 AM, November 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had to laugh out loud. You sound something like my best friend. She, however, has given her husband free range in the kitchen. She has learned just to stay out of the way, and enjoy whatever dishes he makes...of cours in the process he uses EVERY possible dish/spoon/knife and since he cooks, she cleans up. But if this isn't for you, then hopefully he'll find a new job soon...

3:15 AM, November 30, 2006  
Anonymous phishaliyah said...

it could be worse

he might want to start a blog

better the kitchen than the computer

5:54 AM, November 30, 2006  
Blogger westbankmama said...

Oh come on, honey... it's so much easier now that the spice rack is alphabetized...

- WBPapa

1:32 PM, November 30, 2006  
Blogger aliyah06 said...

I had to take a break, I was laughing so hard! My husband took over the kitchen years ago -- we're both foodies but of different denominations: his--large servings of peasant food, heavy on meat and potatoes; mine--California cuisine with Asian fusion in small portions. He took over, I put on 35 pounds...

8:07 PM, November 30, 2006  
Blogger Baleboosteh said...

Lol! Very funny. My husband and I spend a lot of time togeather too... I know where you are coming from!

You never know, maybe you will miss not having him at home when he finds a new job?! :D

5:21 AM, December 01, 2006  
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